You don’t know me

Friday Roundup for July 10, 2026

Here at BNG, we’ve taken quite a beating this week over our coverage of one issue that has generated intense conversation — mainly among people who don’t know me or our writers or our organization. Yet these days, none of that stops people from spreading their certainty in online comments.

The issue is our coverage of the death by suicide of Ryan Stollar, a sexual abuse survivor and advocate for children. Many of our readers — like me — never had heard of him before, but some of our readers followed his work and had been helped by his writing and speaking. And then there are those who claim to have been close to him who stumbled on to our website because of our coverage and became immediately convinced we are evil incarnate.

We broke the news of his death in a story I wrote. Then Mara Richards Bim wrote a follow-up piece, and that’s what generated the most online heat. Later, Josh Olds wrote another analysis about how hurt people hurt people.

It’s worth noting that the one piece written by a female writer got the most criticism. Just sayin’.

One online commenter posted on Facebook: “The words in this article are harsh and harmful to the family and friends of a dead man. I’ve watched them suffer from this piece. I can’t believe it was published. There’s nothing kind or gracious about it. This is death we are talking about. Real loss. And this article might as well have punched them all in the face.”

Another chimed in: “This is a terrible piece of writing and reflects poorly both on its author and your publication. What’s worse than the writing is the armchair diagnosis by the author and her total lack of research. She quotes mostly other people who didn’t know this man. She herself didn’t know him and had just learned of him. None of us has a right to judge, least of all the people who don’t know us.”

And yet another: “Did you seriously publish the work of someone who didn’t even know him?! How is that wisdom? How is that compassion? How is that even remotely respectful for the family he left behind? You guys normally do better. But this really is inappropriate.”

And my favorite: “This piece is but another indication of just how insularly myopic Baptists generally are, and I was a Baptist pastor for 35 years. At best, retract; at minimum, publish a public apology to Ryan’s family, friends and memory!! Better yet, PAY for his memorial expenses!”

Let me just point out that there’s no evidence any of these critics knew Ryan either. Yet they are armchair therapists and journalists telling us in no uncertain terms how we should run a national news service.

Sadly, this kind of criticism comes with the territory, and we get it from time to time. This is not the first time, but it has been an intense time.

There are several things at play here worth commenting on.

First is the difficulty we Americans have in talking about suicide. Ben Cole and I have a new episode of “Stuck in the Middle with You” coming out early next week that addresses this stigma and how it plays into the Stollar story. Lots of people think they are experts on how to react to suicide and what’s proper to say or not say.

In this case, Stollar left a detailed suicide note that not only was published to his website but emailed to all his subscribers. The note is very hard to read and specifically accuses his estranged wife of being a reason he took his own life.

When you are a public figure and you publish a suicide note online, that’s fair game for news coverage and commentary. You are inviting conversation. We did not violate anyone’s privacy by writing about this tragic death. This is, by definition, news. And it already was public.

Second, and this is where the most criticism against us has come, some think we shouldn’t have talked about Stollar’s wife even though she is a central part of the suicide note. How could we not have mentioned her?

Mara wrote specifically about the trauma too many women endure, including those whose husbands repeatedly threaten to kill themselves if the wife leaves them. This is a real thing, and Mara knows and has heard from women who have walked this road.

She wrote: “Sometimes people choose suicide, not out of grief and pain, but out of rage and vengeance — not as an act of escape, but as an act of violence.”

Well, to our armchair critics out there in social media land, that was a word they were unwilling to hear. In some cases, our critics took after us because they read our analysis through the lens of their own experiences. They are like the friend you’re trying to tell about your cancer diagnosis who keeps interrupting with, “Well, once upon a time when I had a migraine …”

We talk about all this in the podcast episode, so I encourage you to look for it next week. But back to my main point: Too many people who wander by our website and find an article do not understand how a national news service operates. They expect us to be something comforting to them and not challenging.

Sorry, folks. We are not here to make you feel comfortable. We are here to keep you informed and cause you to think about hard things.

But we do that from a wealth of life experience that shapes how we write. What none of these critics know about me is that I have firsthand experience with suicidal ideation. I’ve written and spoken openly about this many times before. And on the podcast episode, I explain it all again.

Writing about and editing commentary about Ryan Stollar’s suicide was not a cold and calculated exercise in abstractness for me. It hit home — hard. Not only because of my own life experiences but because I have officiated more than a few funerals for people of all ages who have died by suicide.

I know something about this. Which is why I determined we had to write about it. Several friends will verify that on the night we published my first article about Stollar’s death, I agonized over it. I wrote the article, called trusted friends for counsel, went for a long walk, called some more friends, and weighed the pros and cons of the whole thing. None of this happened lightly.

We cannot truly know most people and what motivates them, but we can listen to their own testimonies about themselves. And that’s what seems to be the hardest for some readers to hear.

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In this post-July 4 week, our writers still have had a lot to say about democracy, religious liberty and the nation’s 250th birthday.

Caroline Smith writes about the spiritual discipline of losing.

In a republished article from our archive, Doyle Sager looks at the difference between Patriotism and nationalism.

J. Basil Dannebohm says Donald Trump’s self-aggrandizement resulted in a ‘Code Red’ environment on July 4.

America’s 250th birthday prompted researchers at Navigator to ask Americans how they define America, patriotism and what our country should aspire to. The result was 82% of Americans across all generations saying they believe freedom is an extremely important value.

Rick Pidcock explores how Christian nationalism shows up in patriotic worship services.

Richard Conville says the president has spread abroad a kind of patriotism that is foreign to this great nation. His actions have mimicked King George III of England, for whom patriotism was obedience.

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In other religio-political news:

Both a Democratic Socialist and a Republican ministry leader who worked with James Dobson will be on Colorado’s ballot this November. But primary voters rejected candidates affiliated with Ryan Dobson and health-and-wealth preacher Andrew Wommack.

Back then it was Beverly LaHaye and Phylis Schlafly. Now it’s Alex Clark and Allie Beth Stuckey. To be a female conservative Christian leader is to navigate the contradictions in making careers of saying women shouldn’t have careers, as illustrated in a new film.

Democratic presidents have targeted Christians and attacked religious freedom for decades, but Donald Trump is making everything right, claims By Dawn’s Early Light, a taxpayer-funded movie starring Trump administration officials that praises the president’s Task Force to Eradicate Anti-Christian Bias.

Graham Platner’s campaign to dethrone Susan Collins as one of Maine’s two senators has come to an abrupt end following allegations of sexual assault. Josh Olds examines how this fits a larger trend.

The stories of Graham Platner and Roy Moore, although unfolding in different parties and different eras, trace the same institutional pattern: Modern political parties elevate outsiders when they are useful and abandon them when they become inconvenient, says Joe Marlow.

The Association of Christian Schools International is promoting a new Education Freedom Tax Credit that it lobbied for and was included in Donald Trump’s “One Big Beautiful Bill” he signed into law last July 4.

Will McCorkle says it’s time for churches to directly defy unjust immigration policies.

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In other news this week:

What Ryan Burge sees in America’s megachurches

As worldwide deaths mount, Musk insists DOGE cuts didn’t kill anyone

Safe Summers Foundation launches parent pledge campaign

US megachurches report strong rebound from pandemic

Amid flurry of rulings, habeas corpus spells trouble for Trump immigration policies

Robert Sloan, Baptist educator, dies at 77 and see also the opinion piece by Carey Newman: Remembering Robert Bryan Sloan

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In other analysis and opinion this week:

What in hell became of heaven? — Alan Bean

Theologizing with Larkin Poe, 10 years after Reskinned — Steven Harmon

What I learned July 5 at church — Linda Wilkerson

What Willy Rice once knew — Christa Brown

The night I saw God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven — Kelley Kennedy

All the Marys and women with the power of words — Julia Goldie Day

We are a nation of immigrants — Richard Cizik

The wicked are punished — or not — David Gushee

Dear Trump-supporting Christians, are you really OK with this? — Mark Wingfield

Eradicating DEI hasn’t made anything better — Trudy Bayer

What sports patriotism teaches us — Cara Meredith

3 views on Donald Trump held by American Christians — Mark Wingfield

Baptists need to speak up again for religious liberty — Matthew Kolb

Order, mystery and the proper use of Occam’s razor — Joe Marlow

Crossing the ‘Red Sea’ in a VW Bug on the way to an Arkansas revival — Jimmy R. Coleman

Between Isaac and Ishmael: An American family divided, hope unbroken — Jack Nassar

How much is enough? — Grady Throneberry

How your church can respond when the love of your life dies — Mike Queen

A final word

If you’ve not yet discovered our BNG podcasts, summer is a great time to get started. They’re good listening as you’re traveling. I mentioned above “Stuck in the Middle with You,” which you can find here.

Our newest podcast is “Bible Divas,” which you’ll find here. Then Rick Pidcock hosts “Highest Power: Church + State” twice a week, which you’ll find here. And our limited series on child sexual abuse at Kamp Kanakuk by Mallory Challis may be found here.

Mark Wingfield
Executive Director and Publisher
Baptist News Global